Juniper Pearl

It all comes in waves. Feelings, thoughts, family, friends. Especially feelings. Trying to work through things that make you feel bad. Getting dragged down because you have no energy to fight. It’s over.

Feeling like you’re living outside of yourself. Nothing feels real. Like watching a movie. You’re real, but no one and nothing else is. Living another life in your mind – only this one is more exciting and what you’re sure life should be.

Wasn’t supposed to be like this, but you have no willpower to change it.

“One of these days” is getting awfully low on time.

So, for a few hours everything was back to normal. Just like it always was… then, the next day, like it never happened.

Who’s in your ear about me? Someone who knows absolutely nothing, I guarantee that. Nothing.

I did what they said… don’t make the first move. Let you come to me. Fat lot of good it did… right back to the new normal. Guess this is the final goodbye.

Really need to start standing up for myself. Don’t want to hear your never-ending problems. Don’t want to hear this or that. Maybe just once I’d like you to listen to me. But, no… it just turns around and I “listen.” Or told someone, they, he, she, it has it worse. I don’t care about that. Just listen to me. Just once.

I had a mutual listener, once. They left me on the side of the road. Cold, wet, laying in a ditch. I wish they’d drive by and throw me some scraps.

Actually, don’t bother. I’ll be fine.

Trying to rekindle loves of things fallen by the wayside. Get things back on track, put them where they belong.

Everything has its place, but I seem to have trouble putting them there. Scattered mind, scattered life.

Just need a little contentment.

I’ll find it eventually.

Hopefully sooner than later or I’ll be running the street, bald and alone.

I guess you’ve forgotten me again. No big deal to me – it’s your setup, not mine. I’ll be here whenever you decide I’m worthy.

Sitting, waiting –

It’s cold in here.

Please make up your mind.

I think it’s starting to get better. I think. Sense of dread has ceased for now. Things are going to be OK… I think. I need to stop thinking so much and just go with the flow. Whatever happens, happens. And, if you need to start over, well, so be it.

I like talking to you, we should talk more.