[…] and my little brother made me play video games. Apparently I wasn’t playing the way I was supposed to (his way or the highway) and he got mad at me. Kind of like earlier in the day when he was making me play with wrestling action figures. Apparently Vince McMahon & Batista aren’t supposed to kiss & hold hands and take wee, little Wrestling Jesus to the park like one big happy family. He took them away from me & I wasn’t allowed to play anymore.
Tuesday – 05/29/2010
Is this what we’ve fallen into? Same shit, day in and day out. No room for change because our minds are on autopilot. Don’t deviate from the path, there’s monsters in the forest. Unseen, heard, black. Piercing, howling, breathing. Don’t you dare challenge them. Until…
Until the day comes. THE DAY. When you finally snap. Run between the trees, yelling, daring. Daring the monsters to find you, trap you, tear at you. EMerge from the other side, a little worse for the wear; but alive.
ALIVE, damn it. Finally fucking alive.
Knights in White Satin
I’m trying…
What? I don’t know. To get back into everything.
In the words of illustrious philosopher William Fontaine de La Tour Dauterive, “I’m so depressed, I can’t even blink.”
I’m trying, but day after day of things I know don’t make me happy, it wears me out. So much stress, so much talking. So much of… nothing.
I want to live in a cottage in the woods, on the edge of a lake, in nature… but not too far from civilization. And just do what I want. No alarm clocks, no traffic, no bosses. Just me, and the birds, and the trees.
Maybe one day. Maybe I’m too old for “dreams”.
Maybe… but right now I’m trying.
It’s off to work we go…
I’m sorry, I forgot where I was.
I seem to be on a high at the moment… but I sit here waiting for it to come crashing down again. Perhaps, Monday? Perhaps, next year? It will come and I’ll just have to sit and take it.
This week was supposed to be restful; I suppose it had it moments. But today is the end and next week the anxiety will return… maybe I’ll cry.
But, for now, I’ll just sit here and enjoy the remaining peace. And wait for my new glasses.
Three Years in the Making
and here it comes, the consequences of your actions.
imagine that…
still not your fault, though, eh? of course not.
Hide and Don’t Seek
I’m allowed to stay indoors and waste away the beautiful day. I’m no longer listening to a word you say. You’ve since turned into high-pitched screeching; falling onto silent ears. I’m deaf, I’m blind…you’re no longer here. We’re not one or two or three. I’m leaving you. I mean it this time.
I left three months ago.