Juniper Pearl

Not here for your pleasantries.
Not here to be friends.
Just walk right on by,
Pay me no mind.

Let’s use the time we
spend together
Not getting to know
each other.

My patience is wearing (very) thin with someone. Hateful, bitter, negative. Same old thing, over and over.

“I didn’t used to be this way.”
Yes, you did. You’ve always been this way. You’re just a little more blatant these days.

“I’m just telling it like it is.” See also, “I know I’m blunt.”
No, you’re just an asshole.

“…probably why I don’t have any friends.”
I could give you a million reasons and you still wouldn’t change.

You really should… change. Or, maybe not. Keep us guessing on which face is stabbing us.

It all comes in waves. Feelings, thoughts, family, friends. Especially feelings. Trying to work through things that make you feel bad. Getting dragged down because you have no energy to fight. It’s over.

Feeling like you’re living outside of yourself. Nothing feels real. Like watching a movie. You’re real, but no one and nothing else is. Living another life in your mind – only this one is more exciting and what you’re sure life should be.

Wasn’t supposed to be like this, but you have no willpower to change it.

“One of these days” is getting awfully low on time.

So, for a few hours everything was back to normal. Just like it always was… then, the next day, like it never happened.

Who’s in your ear about me? Someone who knows absolutely nothing, I guarantee that. Nothing.

I did what they said… don’t make the first move. Let you come to me. Fat lot of good it did… right back to the new normal. Guess this is the final goodbye.

Really need to start standing up for myself. Don’t want to hear your never-ending problems. Don’t want to hear this or that. Maybe just once I’d like you to listen to me. But, no… it just turns around and I “listen.” Or told someone, they, he, she, it has it worse. I don’t care about that. Just listen to me. Just once.

I had a mutual listener, once. They left me on the side of the road. Cold, wet, laying in a ditch. I wish they’d drive by and throw me some scraps.

Actually, don’t bother. I’ll be fine.

Trying to rekindle loves of things fallen by the wayside. Get things back on track, put them where they belong.

Everything has its place, but I seem to have trouble putting them there. Scattered mind, scattered life.

Just need a little contentment.

I’ll find it eventually.

Hopefully sooner than later or I’ll be running the street, bald and alone.