A little bit of life mixed with a little bit of creative writing
· Lived
Time to start anew and find someone who will actually listen to what I’m saying. The actual words that are coming out of my mouth, the thing that is slowly trying to kill me. Waking up with a bar-fight face again because apparently I don’t know what I’m talking about. I’m not paranoid or attention-seeking, and you’re not getting any more of my time (or money).
It’s hot and miserable and various other things, on all fronts. I just want it to go away… all of it. Hand me the pliers.
· Lived
Trying to come back… to everything. To care about things, people. Tired of hearing the same old stories about the same old people and the same old same old. Nothing ever changes with you, or you, or you.
I told you to leave that mess alone… and look, now you have fleas.
Nothing is enjoyable and everything gets on my nerves. “Oh god, shut up already.” Standing at a show last weekend, trying to Jedi mind trick the band. Couldn’t leave because my ride was busy being an annoying idiot.
Spending the past month being fake. Spending the past month acting. Spending the past month wanting to crawl into a hole and disappear or sleep or die…dependent upon the day.
I wish everyone would shut up and leave me alone. I wish the world would be quiet. Please be quiet.
“…for whatever I did.”
That’s always your answer. You know what you did, what you do, it’s always the same. But, people like you don’t want to admit it’s your fault. No, no…it’s always someone else at fault. You’re not actually sorry, you just want things to go back to your way. Where everyone else is miserable and you’re the queen.
Extinguish your gaslight, the British are coming.
It’s been awfully quiet and pleasant around here lately. You’re not around to spread hatred and negativity. Cut you right on out, without second thought. If only others could follow suit, then maybe you would be forced to reevaluate how you treat people.
But, then again, nothing’s ever your fault anyway. Isn’t that right?
See you tomorrow.
Let go of some people and things… mainly people I guess. New, better people will take their places. Back to art, and books, movies, puzzles, card games, exploring nature. Go outside and sit; read, write, or just sit. Enjoy you and fuck the rest of them. They’re not worthy of you and your time and your existence. They don’t get to be in your universe if they’re going to act like that.
They can go away and stay in their own miserable little worlds… with each other. Maybe they can get time off for good behavior…
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