Juniper Pearl

Filled with too many ugly thoughts today. Too many ugly words making their ways into our vocabulary. Your vocabulary… mainly mine. Horrid, ugly words that apparently live in the deepest, darkest parts of my mind; only to rear their heads when I least expect it. Maybe they’re always there, on the tip of my tongue, waiting to fall out my mouth like a waterfall.

I don’t quite understand what motivates some people to act the way they do. Them, you, me, us. We all need help and none of us are getting it. Break the cycle…

break the cycle…

break.

We’re all hiding in the closet to keep away from the boogie-man. Slamming doors and screaming at the top of Its lungs at no one in particular. “Eat your fucking spaghetti.” Not caring that It dropped it in the floor 5 minutes ago because she was talking. Taking up space that could be occupied by other things. Taking up space that could be occupied by nothing at all. Just as long as it wasn’t her.

We’re all hiding in the closet to keep away from her. Slamming doors and screaming at the top of her lung at no one in particular. “I’ll get you more spaghetti.” Not caring that the boogie-man dropped it in the floor 5 minutes ago. Just trying to keep the peace. Peace without a belt. Peace in the closet. Peace behind the bed. Peace in the corner. Peace in hell.

The world’s going to hell and we’re all hiding in the closet.

Slow down and take a breath.
Hot summer wind in your skin,
no respite.
Take me away.

Spending the past two weeks absolutely pissed off. At the world, at everyone else…nothing is safe and you can all go to hell. I don’t understand why you won’t stop being stupid. Royal you, royal we, we’re all stupid and getting on my nerves. I’m sorry you won’t get off your ass and help out. Sweet lazy babies, you’re not special. What is the matter with people? Self-absorbed…always so damn sure of what they’re not going to do. Honey child no.

Something’s gotta give because I’m this-close to quitting. Quitting everything and running off to a cabin in the woods. Nothing but the trees and the birds and me. And not you. You’re annoying. I love you.

Surrounded by horrible people. Unapologetic people. Nasty people. Mean people. Horribly, unapologetically, nasty, mean-ass people; and most of the time they’re the same person. How do you live with yourself? Day in and day out, hating the world, playing the victim…poor, poor you.

I think it’s time to sleep, but I’m too tired.

It’s becoming harder and harder to be nice to people I don’t like. You get on my very last, frayed nerve and I have to sit here and act like I enjoy you being in my presence. Every sentence someone utters does not require any commentary on your part. Are you always this annoying, or just when you’re here?

Please, Lord, tiny baby child, just shut your mouth. Speak only when necessary, because no one cares what you have to say. Not him, not her, certainly not I. You’ve been here for five minutes, you don’t know the game and shouldn’t participate. You don’t know the players and you don’t know the rules.

Hush, now. Shh.

That time of year came and passed again.
Empty well-wishes…
You lot don’t care.
You just want to look good in front of everyone else.